Holy Guacamole!

There's an insane number of people reading this blog o.O 2431 pageviews? Sheesh! Well hello all of you! Sorry about the lack of updates the last few days...it's sorta been a mix of laziness, business, and exhaustion, lol.

So where'd I leave off...surgery on Friday...tube for draining my stomach...recovery all that day...

So Saturday pretty much nothing happened, lol. The hospice people were really slow getting to me in the hospital. Like...the lady showed up that morning and the firs thing she sad was that she didn't want me going home. She wanted to take me to some of their little rooms at the hospice itself for a night or two. I know why she suggested it...it would get me away from the hospital itself and away from the way they dose out the medications there. Since they do things differently through hospice care. She wanted a day or two to adjust my pain meds so that when  did go home, I'd be totally comfortable and settled.

I didn't care. I refused outright. I may have been a little rude about it too, though I didn't try to be. But man my face fell so far the moment she mentioned that... All I wanted to do was go home to my own room and bed and cat and my own life! I didn't want to go to another strange room inbetween! Honestly I would have rather stayed at the hospital another night, at least it was sort of my own space by that point, you know? And I knew most of the nurses by then which is always nice, lol.

But yes, I refused to go to the hospice place ad the lad set about making arrangements to have all my equipment delivered to the house. Mostly the stomach pump. Like...until the pump was physically at the house, I wasn't allowed to check out of the hospital. Which made the whole day one giant wait because whoever was doing deliveries was going super SUPER slow. They didn't deliver things until almost 9 that evening o.O (Looking back that may have been a kind of good thing though...the second day of surgery recovery was much much harder than the first day, so laying around for an extra 12 hours and basically dozing was probably very good for me, lol.

Anyways, so I finally was set free from the hospital and in the car on the way home by 9 that evening and we went straight home. And...it was actually a really rough night. I dunno what it was, but being home wasn't quite right yet.

The thing was...night night before I popped off to the emergency room on the 4th, we'd just moved most of my bedroom furniture up to my old upstairs bedroom. I didn't even get to spend a single night in the room before I was in the hospital for a week. And then, while I was stuck there, everything got moved around again. I'm in the other spare room upstairs, which actually used to be Brian's room, lol. I don't have my own bed, instead I have one of the single beds that folds up like hospital beds do... Which is definitely worth it I know, since I can't really sit up on my own yet it's incredibly useful and i'm not complaining!

But it just...didn't feel like coming home. It wasn't my home I was coming to, I felt like I was coming to a guest room, like nothing was quite right. I had both parents working to try and get things ready, and then a hospice nurse finally came by to settle me in with new meds and such and that wasn't until 10 or so... My grandma is here, which is totally awesome, don't get me wrong! But she's not normally here, so on top of everything it just felt a little weird in that regard too, lol.

It just just a nutty emotional night... my right ear had a little wax build up so I couldn't hear properly and it nearly had me in tears for hours. It was entirely silly ^^; So I basically just watched Friends until I passed out XD

Yesterday was much better in terms of getting back to the swing of things here ^^ I spent most of the morning sore and in bed, but Mummy and Dad brought up most of my posters and wall art and such and we re-decorated the upstairs room with my own things to make it more mine. It's amazing what something so simple can do to make a girl feel better! Just...something about having your own stuff is amazing, lol. We're gonna bring up a bunch of my favorite books and knickknacks over the next few days too, so it'll only make it nicer ^^

Essie helps. Oh my gosh Essie helps. For those who don't know, Essie is my cat and oh there is nothing like having your pet back to make the world a better place. She's barely left my side since I got home and I am not complaining in the least! Except when she wants to curl up on my belly, that doesn't work quite so well, lol. But needless to say, I'm once again half covered in cat hair and loving it XD In a way she was in the same boat as me...moved to a new bedroom which I then proceeded to leave her alone in for a week, poor thing! She never got a new place any more than I did. And the basement door is open all the time now too, so the other cat goes down to hang out with Brian... The basement used to be safe, but we took it away from her. So yeah, I don't think she rested well while I was gone. Which is why she's essentially been sleeping on me since I got home, lol. She's much happier now, much more relaxed, and I'm very glad of it, since she helps me do the same thing ^^

So my situation here at home is quite lovely once again ^^ Since I'm here obviously i'm not attached to an IV pole anymore...but they also took out the IV in the port they put in the other day, so I didn't really have a way to take any pain meds. The hospice people provided a little machine pump that basically does it for me? It's interesting, I carry the pump and the IV bag around in a little bag with me all the time and it gives me my pain meds at a more steady rate. Rather than every three hours like in the hospital, it's broken up into smaller bits more consistently. Which is probably healthier, seeing as it doesn't give me a giant rush of relief and make me dizzy and pass out, rofl. And there's a little button I can push to get extra meds if I need them ^^ I do think they need to up the dose on the pump though, since i've had to use that extra bolus quite a bit more than I'd like to have to... Ah well, they should be able to fix that today when they come by ^^

Other than that, I have a fancy pump thingie for my stomach tube. Mum and I run it twice a day so far, and it's getting better ^^ it's still bizarre, don't get me wrong. it's veeery strange feeling and looking and weird to think about, so I try not to. But it is working and it does mean I get to eat at least mushy food, so I'm trying not to complain in the least. Cuz food is good. Seriously. Yum. I love that I don't have to give it up yet. Which is what my body is going to slowly do. As I grow weaker, I'll feel less hungry...it's entirely natural, I just won't crave nutrients and it's not a dangerous thing. It'll just happen. But in the meantime, I still get hungry and I still get to eat and get some of those nutrients, which I think helps me morally as much as physically. I just love food too darn much to give it up, rofl.

Let's see...they also gave me a wheelchair so when I feel up to it, we can actually get out of the house sometimes and do things! Haven't used it yet, but I have every intention of seeing Saving Mr. Banks before long :P And we also got one of those hospital trays that slide under the bed so that I can have a desk and work from bed ^^ Honestly, everyone needs one of these things, they're amazing, lol. Absolutely wonderful for being lazy hehehehee XD

My new room is pretty snazzy too! We have an old loveseat in here, and once we have everything ready, we're gonna hire some dudes to do some heavy moving for us, getting the extra bed down to my old room, bringing up one of the couches from the basement, stuff like that... We got a new TV for in here yesterday too, so I can watch movies and Brian can put up his game systems in here (or some of them at least) and I can watch netflix on it. It'll be really great for days when I'm just too tired to get out of med much, because I can have people to hang out with without them feeling like they're just stuck in a hospital bedside chair. Because that's just lame for all of us, lol. This way we can just chill out together and play games or watch stuff without it being an issue ^^

Sheesh, have I talked enough yet? I think I've talked enough fr this post, rofl. Amazing how much I can blabber on for a girl who's biggest event of the day is the adventure of trying to shower, pfft XD (For the record, I can't shower, not with all the various tubes and bandages... I have to get my mom's help washing my hair (using a shower chair the hospice people brought for me), and then washcloth everything else. I just don't wanna risk getting any open gauze wet when there isn't a nurse around to change the bandages if they need. Fun stuff :P)

Right. See? A whole paragraph on showers! very exciting i'm sure XD So I'm gonna shut up now and post the link to this everywhere, lol. I'll chat at you all later :)
~Alie