The technical stuff!

I honestly don't know where to start with everything that's happened, lol. But I have to start somewhere...until I can get this first post pumped out, I won't be writing anything else. So here it goes ^^

Through November of last year (2013 in case someone from waaay in the future is reading this :P), I started getting sick. Not that I knew it, lol. I was just sorta gaining a little weight, didn't think anything of it...my doc said it was constipation, just eat a bunch of bran and drink apple juice! It'll get better!

It didn't ^^; Through the month it only got worse and worse. My stomach was getting distended and such...it was awful. And I was on my feet all day for work and it was really getting bad. So December 13th, I called in sick and my mom and I went to the emergency room and they did a CT scan and found a bunch of liquid in my abdomen which hadn't been there only a few months before when I was last being scanned for liver stuff.

Now back in April they found a mysery spot in my liver, but they didn't find anything out about it, never knew what it was. And honestly I don't even know if it has anything to do with this. But needless to say, I rather hate my liver, lol.

Right, so anyways...they checked me into the hospital, did some more scans and tests and things...it's all a bit of a blur right now. But then they said the dreaded word. Cancer.

I was transferred up to the University Hospital up in Denver for more testing and such. And yup, the more they looked, the more it looked like cancer. I was set free to go home for Christmas, driving back up for anything they needed to do up at the hospital... Eventually they did a biopsy on Dec 26th, and then on January 2nd we drove up again and got the results.

The fancy name for it is Intrahepatic cholangiocarcinoma. It's a type of Liver Cancer that originates in the bile ducts of the liver. It's spread from the liver and out into my abdomen and lymph nodes. This makes it Stage 4 cancer, the most advanced stage. There's no cure, and not much anyone can really do about it.

See, the cancer that's spread out into my abdomen is what was causing my stomach to get all distended. It basically leaks liquid into my abdomen and around my organs and such. Not fun, lol. They figured that was why I was so constipated and such, you know?

I was given a whole regimen of medicines to try and get my digestive system moving again, but nothing was working. I was never hungry, there was no room fr me to eat anything, since nothing was going through. I was so full and stopped up between the constipation (I haven't had a bowel movement since Dec 12th or something) and the liquid build up, I looked like I was about 6 months pregnant and I couldn't bend well or get comfortable almost ever. I have to sleep sitting up, lol. I'd actually stack my pillows in front of me and lean forward over them to try and sleep without putting any pressure on my middle, it suuucked.

And last saturday, Jan 4th, it was bad enough that I went to the emergency room again. And they checked me out, gave me morphine, and checked me into the hospital where I am now ^^

Over the last few days, i've had tests done and been inspected and chatted with my lots of different doctors and such...it turns out that there's a bunch of cancer polyps pressing against my bowels, blocking things from going through the space, which is why i'm still stopped up. Today, the plan was to fix that by adding a sort of escape route. They'd cut my intestines and attach it to a fancy thingie that empties things into a plastic bag which would hang outside of my body and I'd simply change the bag out and such.

Of course...the surgery didn't end up working. They cut me open and looked around with a camera...but for some reason, they couldn't do it. Which...means that I still can't eat. Which REALLY sucks. I'm not sre what the plan is at the moment, all my docs are supposed to be getting together tonight to try and think of a solution... It's not looking good though, they may have to start giving me nutrition right into my blood stream, which has its own problems, and doesn't change the fact that I'm hungry and can't eat really.

After everything that keeps going wrong...I'm not sure if i'm even gonna be doing the Chemo. From what one of the docs was saying, the discomfort of the chemo might not be worth it if my quality of life keeps dropping. So I dunno yet what's happening. All I know right now is a bunch of guessing...

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some more answers or maybe a proper plan again? Hopefully? I have my fingers crossed that my docs will think of something that'll make this work. Even if I don't get more time...I'd really love to be able to eat real food for the rest of the time I have. Even if that means chewing food and spitting it out rather than swallowing it. It sounds weird, but maaan I miss food so badly!

Well I think that's most of the technical info? So i'm gonna go ahead and post this and make sure I don't lose it all without saving or something, lol. I may write a more emotional sided post later...maybe tomorrow, we'll see. In any case, I have stuff to blurt, so it'll likely just be an unorganized mess of feelings, so beware :P

~Alie